Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Frustration. Yep. That would describe where I'm at on a certain subject. What subject is that? Body. Size. Health. Body Image. I know, I know. It's the main subject/topic for a lot of people. I know I'm just hitting a bumpy spot and that I need to push through, but there are some days that are just so hard!

It is so much easier to put on the weight than it is to lose the weight! It certainly didn't happen over night. Should have seen me in high school! Going to the gym was a daily routine, as was tanning and I can only say....DAMN I LOOKED GOOD!

In the black, senior prom, April 2000

Then college came along. Hello beer, fast food drive thru, cramming food while cramming for classes. Would I change a minute of it? Nope, not a chance. It wasn't just the freshman 15, it was the 4 year 40! Well, maybe not 40, but I did fluctuate with my weight on and off during college. But, again it was easier because I was *dreaded thought* YOUNGER and things seemed to come off a little faster...

My BFF and I in San Francisco

With the same BFF a year later, with a few more added muffins

Graduating college meant that I had to grow up, and with that I thought my health sort of went along with it. But, it doesn't happen like that. I got my first real job and, of course, discovered the joy of going out to lunch with my friends. The weight has come on and I'm leaving the 20's tunnel and heading into the 30's, and this crap just isn't as easy as it used to me. Getting a full time job, eventually taking a job teaching, and then coaching plus having friends and family leaves very little time left in a day. During the school year, there are some days that I work 12 hours between games, practice and just classroom stuff; I come home to papers to grade, lessons to plan, and the end result is complete exhaustion. Wait, I know exactly what this post needs...

to accompany my bad case of....

This truly isn't the reason for my post. But, I thought that background was needed to understand me better. Being tired isn't an excuse to stop taking care of yourself. I know this. In the last 2 years my health has become an issue and my weight and activity have become more of a concern, again that getting older thing comes back to haunt me. My first scare was high blood pressure. I even was hospitalized because it was so high, dehydration had a lot to do with that, but the fact is that it scared me. My dad and his family has a history of heart disease. My grandmother died in her 60's from a heart attack, my father had a stint put in his artery to prevent some blockage and he also developed diabetes. The odds are really against me when it comes to this part, as I can't change my genes...but I can change my jeans!

Last April a friend of mine convinced me it was time to take a gym class together. I wasn't really into it; I had a routine, and classes make me uncomfortable. But, she was into it, she had been really working hard, so I was suckered into joining. We decided to take a Zumba class from our neighborhood rec center. It was one night a week for an hour and a half. O.M.G, I almost died! I was sweating and working parts of my body I had no clue worked anymore. But, I felt pretty good afterwards, and the best part was that I had so much fun. Going and working out with a friend is so much better than working out by yourself and we laughed so hard. We had recruited several more friends to go, and it was a party. I began to look forward to the weekly class...what? Liking a workout? So NOT me!

My good friend, the same one that convinced me that taking the first class was a great idea, was talking me into joining a gym. The pressure was on. My friends were going to start taking classes together at the gym, but did I really want to make that commitment (Geez, I spend more money on mindless things, yet I'm worrying about $22 a month). I also worried that I wouldn't use the membership, but I joined anyway. Pretty soon, I was going to 2 or 3 classes a week, but only with my friends. Thankfully, my friends are really good at making me feel guilty, so I kept up with the gym, showing even when I didn't want to because I didn't want to let them down. The next thing you know, I'm going now even more and trying new classes, and going without my friends. I am up to 5 classes a week. I discovered kickboxing and an instructor who refuses to let people slide with bare minimum. I've been going consistently for 4 months. And, my confidence with going is higher. I don't depend on my friends anymore, so there's a step. Here is where my frustration comes in:

One of my instructors said last week...stop looking in the mirror. Look at what your body can do and be proud. Instead of saying, "my legs are fat," you should say,"my legs really helped me get through that last kickboxing class." Hm. That's an interesting thought, and I might try to start looking at it that way. Because at this point, I'm looking for anything to keep me motivated! Change is hard, and usually I do everything in my power to stop change. Although I know this healthy and a way of life that will be a positive change...I have to keep powering through. Perhaps a small montage of changes will help...

January 2009

March 2009

May 2009

June 2009

August 2009

November 2009

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

I don't see much change in those pictures. Bottom line. I'm frustrated, but I'm keeping up. Thanks to my friend Erika and Alicia for forcing me into getting in shape and for being my gym buddies. Thanks to the best instructor, Ebony, for making me work harder each time. And a big thank you to the smaller pants hanging on my door as a reminder of what my goals are. 

Magical Express from Hell - The Vacation Story, Part 2

You would think that after getting to Orlando safely The Thomas Family vacation would be stress free. Traveling is never a great time, but the result is usually worth it. Not this time...

Saturday morning, Dad, who always wakes as soon as it's light out, came to wake the troops up. He did let us sleep until 9:00 AM, which is actually sleeping in for him. So, we begrudgingly move from our soft comfortable bed and begin dressing. Mason is out of sorts and feeling homesick. We take our time to try and get him adjusted. Being the Thomas family eating is, of course, the first thing on our list to do. We head down the never ending hallway and head to Mara. This is the counter service restaurant at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. We are on the Disney family plan and we are entitled to 1 entree and a dessert. WooHoo! I am getting the Chicken Cesar Salad and a cheesecake, Mom and Dad are both getting the Turkey Ciabatta sandwich, the diabetic with fruit and one with cheesecake, and Mason with world class MAC AND CHEESE! Now with happy tummy's (or so we thought) we are heading to Epcot. On the way over to the park, Dad sort of grabs his stomach and states that his tummy was hurting. We discuss all the possible issues it could be (none of which need to be repeated), but we really think nothing of it. By the time we get past the security bag check, admire our picture contribution the walls and get through the line for our first Disney ride, Spaceship Earth, it is about 1:00 PM. Mom and Dad are in one car and Mason and I are in another. This is a slow moving ride that details our progression. In the end we get to place ourselves in our future world. We get to see our future pictures. Dad loves this part, but after the ride I noticed that he was gone. I asked my mother about it, and she told me that he didn't want to make a big deal about it, but that Dad wasn't feeling well and was heading back to the hotel.

This is Mom and Dad's future life. This will be the last photo we get of Dad for a couple of days! :(

Me and Mason in our future.

Dad doesn't want us to worry about him; however, how can you not worry about someone that is leaving because they don't feel well. We take Mason to the Innovations exhibit and allow him to play and explore. Mom spends time on the phone calling and texting Dad. At this point it is about 1:45 PM. The message we receive from Dad is that he is in more pain than he has ever been in and that he is calling 911. OK...panic is setting in. If anyone knows my dad, you'll understand why this is a big deal. This man doesn't complain about anything, and he doesn't go to doctors unless he absolutely has to. As quickly as we can we board the bus to head back to Animal Kingdom. OH.MY.GOD, this is the longest bus ride ever! We board the bus by 2:00 PM and it takes us nearly 30 minutes before we arrive at our stop. As we pull up, we see the ambulance in the front of the hotel. Is this really happening? Mom is going to stay out front by the ambulance and wait for Dad to come out. I am going to take Mason back up to the hotel. As we were going into the front door, Dad is being wheeled out on the gurney. He calls out our names, and Mason and I head over to say goodbye. He looks at me and sort of shrugs and tries to smile, and Mason gets a high five. Hardest thing in the world. We are in another state, away from our family, and our patriarch is down - that's not normal and it makes everything else seem off. But, we are going to power through, we are Thomas' after all. 

Dad is taken to Celebrations Medical Center, which is located off Disney property, in a ritzy neighborhood. Apparently, this is the place where they take tourists and celebrities. You might recognize the place...

Yep! It's the place that Tiger Woods was taken after his domestic incident....

Arriving at the hospital at at approximately, 2:30, Dad was immediately rushed into the emergency room. He was started in on an IV and had multiple tests being administered. He receives a CAT scan that reveals that he has a lower bowel intestinal blockage. There are 2 procedures that can be done, the 1st is to empty his stomach and see if the bowel will become unblocked. The other procedure would be surgery, it's high risk and not the most favored treatment. They go with the first option first. Dad has a nastrogastic tube put in, which was a completely traumatizing experience for both Dad and Mom. The procedure is having a tiny tube inserting from the nasal area into the stomach to remove fluids and gas and help relieve pain and pressure. Apparently there is  ALOT of fluid and gas because it takes 3 days before the nose tube is taken out and Dad filled an entire beaker of his stomach contents. We do communicate in the 4 days he is in the hospital. While Mom and Dad are at the hospital Mason and I will text pictures of what we are doing. And while Mom is with me and Mason, she texts Dad pictures of our dinners and what we are doing. In return, he sends pictures of himself, his jello, etc.

Here are some of those texted pictures:

The view from our hotel. Any animal in my view was sent to dad!

See, I told you I could get him to sleep just fine! 

Poor Daddy, with his tube, taking self portraits in the hospital. 

See Dad, I'm dressed for dinner!

Mason misses you!

Don't worry Dad, I'll order the lobster in your honor!

We miss our daddy!

On the home front, I try and make this the best possible time for Mason. After all, Dad doesn't want us to sit in the hotel room all day long. So, I take him to the pool where we play for an hour and half, I get him showered and settled down so that we order room service (big deal for a small person!) The kid is pretty exhausted the first day and I think the trauma took more out of him, but I am not going to let down and tomorrow we head off to MAGIC KINGDOM for the day. 

Mason is an angel. He is agreeable and wants to do everything I want, for the most part. I am working hard to make it fun, but it's hard without our other half. We start our day by getting hot dogs and french fries from Casey's baseball theme counter service. I devour mine and he picks as his. I start to feel worried! Maybe I'm doing well with this, the kids not eating. Maybe he'll be hungry soon. We actually made it through quite a bit of Magic Kingdom. We ride on Buzzlightyear, Autotopia, Tiki Birds, and the tree house. Mason claims to be starving, so we head back to the hotel where I prepare a feast of PB&J, baked lays and a chocolate donut for dessert. We have only an hour to rest before we have to go to dinner. And guess who surprises us? MOM! She comes back in time to join us. Wow, we have 3 out of the 4, and that makes us a little happier. Here are some pictures from that day!

While we were eating a mother and her baby ducks came by.

Mason is weary about all the duck attention. 

Our car for the ride.

We are waiting in line for Autotopia!

Mason waiting for me to quit taking forever.

Mom and Mason at the Captain's Grille at the Yacht Club,

Me on the boardwalk waiting on the boat.

Mom and Mason with the Epcot fireworks.

The lighthouse at the end of the boardwalk.

Mason chilling on the dock!

 

 

 

Day 3 Dad is improving so much more. He is able to start eating liquids and then even soft solids. His Xrays are coming back better each time. We are hoping for a release on Tuesday. Since there is nothing that can be done with Dad he sends Mom to be with the two kids, me and Mason. All Dad is going to do is drain his stomach, pass some gas and hope for something stronger. So, we venture off to Epcot again. Mason and I go on Ellen's Energy Adventure. And of course, Finding Nemo was important. Again, it was hard to be away from Dad, so I think that we were all in agreement to head back to the hotel.

Finding Nemo

Fish are friends not food.

Sending Mason off to School....

Outside the living seas

The EPCOT ball.

We don't have to worry about Dad anymore because he is released from the hospital on Day 4. He gets back later in the afternoon, so we force him to take it easy. However, the next day he was ready to go. He made the most of the 2 days he had left and we followed along nicely.

Taking our boat ride Ft. Wilderness.

Mason and Mom after dinner at Ft. Wilderness

Mason and I at Ft. Wilderness

A little photography time

A gorgeous evening in Florida

Daddy is back and ready to vaca!

The boys checking out the surroundings of the hotel.

My beautiful mom

Me

Looking great!

Mason looking his adorable self.

 So, the Thomas Family didn't have the best vacation ever. But, we did learn a few things. We learned that in times of need we have a lot of people that would do just about anything to help our family. We also learned that even when the going gets tough, we grab a hand, crack a joke and make it work because we love each other. And in the end, isn't that what is important?